Choice TFLN

(906): I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

(518): you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'

(337): if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
(1-337): 4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
(337): mom cant say that college never taught us math

(905): 9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.

(618): I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.

Some pretty choice TFLN

here are some TFLN that I laughed at. True life, lol. not the fake one you put as like a conversation filler--- you know what i'm talkin bout. hahaha (like that one right there.)

(205): I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.

(979): so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together. (for SM)

(251): I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.

(941): Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to

(337): They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.

(917): And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.