How To Make it in America

Tease

HBO--- premieres Feb 14th @ 10:00pm.
set in New York--- Kid Cudi is in it.... and my boyfriend Bryan Greenberg

My Refund Check Drops Today.

That means it's time for me to shop. I've done some pre-browsing and thrown some things in my "shopping bag" so I can check out as soon as there is some real money in my account. I've always been a huge fan of beading and studs (when it's done right). The lace tights and patchwork liquid legs--- I die for them




via Forever21

Four Eyes.

Today I started my quest for some new glasses. I have been in glasses or contacts since 5th grade, but have only had 3 pairs of glasses because I'm really picky. I have really big eyes and I just don't want to be in frames that are funny looking! As I'm getting older though, I see the value in preserving my sight, hence the decision to become a more part time contact wearer.

These are 2 pair I tried today at Columbia Optical. Duh I had the lady take pictures so I could send them to Cynthia, she's my fellow Four-Eyes in the family/my shopping partner for life. So please excuse the awkdotcom pictures...

I want frames big enough that my eyes/lashes aren't all cramped, plus I like a nice cute frame. I don't exactly think glasses are cute on me, like, I feel that my swag is downgraded in them. So, the main thing too is that I gotta find some that I actually LIKE how they look on me/how I look in them.


Challenges! Tomorrow I'm trying this other place, Cohen's Optical... We'll see what they got....

Jean Paul Gaultier for Target

AH! Jean Paul Gaultier is the next designer doing a line for Target. It's supposed to start selling on March 7th. Some of it is crazy and i didn't like the pictures from the lookbook, so I didn't include them, but that trench coat is divine at on $59.99. Both Leather Bombers run closer to $200.00, but still fresh. I like that Target has continued to up the ante with the Go International campaign. Luella Bartley was one of the first they had, I remember.... but pulling off Rodarte, Jovovich-Hawk, and now Jean Paul Gaultier..... I like it.

There are like, no Targets up here. They just put one one at 138th on the East side which is sort of easy to get to... and there is one up in the BX which is do-able. I may have to make a trip when this line comes out (or just chance it online...)


(images via Racked)

The Runaways, Spring, 2010

Can't wait.

All Black Everything.

So clean! All Black Everything! I love seeing more and more of this blacked out look everywhere. Even on the radio:

"This is Roc Nation, Pledge your allegiance. Get y'all fatigues on.All black everything.Black cards, black cars, All black everything." -Run This Town, Jay-Z

"All black on, Black top shades, Black top Maybach.
I’ma rock this shit like fashion...." - Hard, Rihanna

So stylish and sophisticated... I think it takes the same amount of confidence to pull off the head-to-toe black as it does to wear bold colors and patterns.... it's daring and maybe a little out of the comfort zone, too. I love seeing it pulled off, freakin fresh to death and I am re-committed to my beloved monochromatic wardrobe picks.

cupcakecitydivas
hel-looks
Fab Sugar
MyStyle

Venus vs. Mars-- Sports.

Morgs I often discuss the importance of football to a southern girl. Even if you personally don't give a shit about the game, you most likely have a boy (daddy, brother, boy) who does. An you need to have, at the least, a rudimentary understanding and appreciation for the game. I bring this up because, last night, the New York Football Jets lost to the Colts. It was a big deal for the city because the Jets haven't been this close in so long. They had an awesome season, and, oh yea....the Bankers blood is actually Gang Green.

On Saturday I sent him a morning text: " Morning Mister! J!E!T!S! today!!

to which he replied: "No, Babe. it's tomorrow... but I like that energy! you're excited!"


Like most fanatics, he's taking this loss like a death in the family and is in some sort of post-lost--football depression. I thought I'd know how to handle it, being raised in a house with a die-hard Tarheel and Steelers Daddy, and going to a legit state school.... but this time, I have no clue.

My approach so far has been silent support. I waited about an hour after the loss to hit him with the condolences text.... but what approach? Do I talk shit about the refs and the bs flags and penalties? Do I express heartbreak? No and No. 1) the Colts are fucking good. I had a feeling they were gonna win. and 2) My heart isn't broken. the Jets had a great season, their quarterback (Mark Sanchez, to the left) could get the business any day.... I mean, the world will go on. So I went with the "look on the bright side" angle.

Hours pass and I toss out the "How you doin?" text. Nothing. At this point I'm trying to calculate the impact of this loss on the rest of the week.... the next few weeks. I mean, I'm not exactly sure how much I'm able/willing to put up with. After thinking about it, I understand where he's coming from. This is a kid who rooted for NCSU all season because it's my Alma Mater (theres a pictures he sent me while I was home on Thanksgiving break and NCSU beat UNC). This super fan also got me Green knee socks (I love knee socks) for game day... I mean, he really cares about the team and while it's sort of funny... it's cute too.



I wake up to this text back "Goodnight Sesh.... thanks for all the love."

So maybe the healing has begun....?

Good thing it's over, and Monday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday are all days that are free game and football free.... for a few months....

Down for the Cause.

As I have mentioned before, my internship is with BronxWorks Homeless Outreach Team. I work with street homeless adults, to get permanent housing. I currently have 12 clients. One of which I just moved into his apartment (nice!) another with a submitted housing package, and 2 others on their way as well. It's a lot of work, but I have honestly never cared about, or believed in a social service agency as much as I do BronxWorks. The commitment to the homeless by DHS (dept. of Homeless Services) and my agency is amazing. It funny because I know me.... and sometimes I surprise myself by how much I care about my clients.

So, Tomorrow night is the annual Hope Count in New York City, and I'm going to be participating, at the Lehman College site. I'll be working with my supervisor (who I'm still trying to make out with) as a Team Leader.

What it is: from 10pm on Monday, to 4am on Tuesday morning, the volunteers are all split up into different zones throughout the prospective boroughs. They have to comb through the area, surveying for homeless people. If you find someone, of course you'd get all their information and then refer the for service. The catch is that DHS has decoy homeless people placed through the zones--- so like, if you miss a decoy, you suck at outreach and your borough starts to rack up points. You want a low number, You want to find everyone.

Afterwards, The number found is calculated and ran through some crazy math algorithm to decide exactly how many street homeless individuals are in the area. Duh, you want a low score, and you want to show a decrease in people in the street.

This is so important on so many levels.... but primarily, people should not be living in the street.
We have had a ton of placements this month alone, and really, the streets seem pretty clear. The fact that it's going to rain tomorrow night will help keep people off the street, but it's a little warm, at 37 degrees...so, we'll see. I'm pretty excited.

So, Tomorrow night I'll be doing tunnels, bridges, abandon cars, and any where else that would make decent shelter on a rainy January Night. I hope to get some pictures, which I'll totally post.


More about Hope Count here. oh, and here.
To read about how HOT did last year, check it out here.





Image via NYC.gov

A Week In Review.

Hours spent at the School of Social Work: 15
Credit Hours for the Spring:16
Hard Classes: 2
Clients I can't find: 3 Amount of Toilet paper in our apartment: 0
Nights out: 3
Hangovers: 1
Inches of Subway eaten: 0 (shocking...)
Workouts: 3
Episodes of United States of Tara watched: 12
Outfit Changes: from the pile up on my chair...too many to count.

What I Wore. The Weekend.

Saturday Night:
Boyfriend Blazer: H&M
Scarf: DC street vendor
Tee: Lilac Lotus
Motorcycle pants: H&M
Booties: Diba
Friday Night:
Velvet thing: Old Navy
Tank: C&C
Jeggings: Target
Boots: Michael Kors


A little lazy this week with the pictures. These are off of my blackberry (obv) and were really intended for my mom, since she still helps me get dressed, even from afar.
So, I have pretty much regressed from first semester. All of the exciting colors and patterns I was slowly adopting seem like a thing of the past. I still totally appreciate color, and want to better utilize it.... but, I have been a fan of neutrals (especially black) since the beginning of time. It doesn't help that New York is a) dirty b) everyone wears black. It was inevitable.

My personal style is still lacking any concrete definition. I think it's mostly classic with a safe amount of trend... I realy enjoy fashion and clothes, I remember having a subscription to W in 2002 when all of my friends were getting Seventeen, Teen, & Cosmo (for them freaky girls...SM hahahaha). So it's sort of weird that I don't know what the hell I wear. I suppose thats why I like documenting the outfits. Makes me consider it a little more, and, it's kind of fun.

One one last note: I've recently gotten comfortable with the idea of accessories. (crazy, right?) I'm looking forward to trying out cocktail rings, bracelets, necklaces, and earrings that stray away from my basic sterling rings and necklace. So I guess it's give and take. What I lost in color/pattern exploration, I've gained in accessorizing.

10 Signs He's Not The One

TheFrisky does it again. Check this list, and keep it movin.


10 Signs He's Not The One

Posted using ShareThis

...You Know That I'm No Good...

Maybe the blame should be on our reality-TV show culture, but, sometimes I've got personal background music running.

SM first made me aware of this 'Theme Song' Phenomena when she told me how on her trips to work and on the job she be walking and Rick Ross 'Everyday I'm husslin' was playing. (Excellent choice, might I add.)

My everyday song is Plies, 'I god plenty money' ironically I do not, in fact, have plenty money. I have GOV'T LOAN money... So my theme is a little hyperbolic, but I digress.

Interesting lil caveat: since Wednesday, my theme music has switched to Amy Winehouse, oldie-but-goodie, 'You Know I'm No Good'

Did you know that if someone asks you something, and you choose to neither confirm, nor deny it, it usually becomes true to the person who inquired? In case you didn't know that...it does.

Since I've been back, my dear banker has inquired, rather roundly, about a certain Med Student. In my mind, if no real question is asked, no real answer is warranted.

real questions:

"did you see Med School over the break?" or

"Do you want to date Med School?"

round questions:

"I know when you graduate you're heading back to NC to marry Med School" or

"I guess a doctor is better than a banker... But there's no way he's got more swagger than me."

Now, in the bankers defense, out of context those round questions are a little awkward. In real time, those "questions" delivered as jokes or 'playing around' need no answer.

The funny thing is, for all intents and purposes, Med School, (the person, not the institution) doesn't really mean anything to me. However, the banker has never asked a direct question about it. Instead he just tosses out statements, for self-preservation, obviously, to which my only answer is

"where did you get that from?"

Am I intentionally gaming him? Absolutely not. I turned in my jersey when I left Raleigh. More or Less. I do enjoy an All-Star weekend game, or a round of pick-up from time to time.... That's beside the point. Thing is, the Banker is good. And he's really good almost all the time. Me? I'm good, but the kind with the asterisk beside it, and then the list of all the exceptions are at the bottom. Hahaha.

At the end of the day, round questions or direct questions will all get clear answers. However, today is not when that day ends...

Like most things, this could end terribly. I have a feeling it will all be just fine.

Vegan Fail

Burger. Beef burger. With cheddar cheese.

And salad.

Divine.

Local Find: Tara Lea

The other Night E and I went to this place called Parkside Lounge on the Lower East Side. They had some amazing live music that night. While I was really feeling everyone, the last performer was fucking amazing. So, obviously I talked to her afterwards.


This is Tara Lea. Chick is only 20 years old. Shes got amazing pipes and her lyrics are the kind where you're all like "How does she know my life?" She plays guitar and piano and was also a really down to earth girl. I plan to catch her next show in a couple of weeks.

Check her out: here

and here's a you tube:

The Good Guy-- Feburary 19 2010

Cannot wait to see this movie. I adore Alexis Bledel & Bryan Greenberg.... and a movie about 20-somethings in New York? Duh. I love it.

School Daze

Classes start back this week. It's sort of crazy because I was just getting comfortable going to my internship every day, like I had a 9-5 job again.

This semester I have 4 classes in addition to my intership, so my basic schedule looks like:

Still have my internship from 8-4 Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. This semester I have 4 classes instead of 3. Human Behavior in a Social Environment, Foundations of Social Work II, Advocacy, and, Social Work in an AIDS Epidemic.

Pretty excited to get back to school, I miss my friends and I miss the whole BEING a student part of being here in a way... We'll see how it goes this week.

What I Wore.

Wednesday evening--- Trivia with the girls
Boots: Rachel Roy
Jeggings: Target
Long Cardigan: Express
White Shirt: C&C
Thursday Evening--out with E in LES.
Boots: Sam Edelman
Jeans: Joes
Black Tee: Urban Outfitters, Truly Madly Deeply
Blazer: Ellison Womans Contemporary
Scarf: vintage
Sunday Brunch:
Boots: Rachel Roy
leggings: American Apparel
Sweater: Forever 21
Scarf: Vintage
Tuesday Morning--To my Internship:
Sneakers: Nike Air Max 360
Jeans: Urban Outfitters BDG
Tank: Target
Button Down: H&M
Cardigan: H&M
Wednesday Day--Lunch With the Banker

Boots: Rachel Roy
Jeggings: Target
White Tee: C&C
Jacket: Old Navy


Got a little lazy this week. Took the pictures, didn't post a thing. Oh well. My style is pretty much consistent and I really like to wear the same types of things. not a lot of patterns, black and neutral (although color is still something I dabble with) boots, I love boots. cardigans all day erry day... you know. the usual.

When someone asks about your personal style I don't have an exact answer. Not that it really matters, but it's good to know what you like and why... what inspires what you wear. So, thats what i'm figuring out now.

A week in review

Nights out: 5
Hours overtime at internship: 7
Inches of Subway eaten: 24
Text messages sent between the banker and I: 279
Falling asleep with make-up still on: 3
Contact Lenses lost: 1
Episodes of Jersey Shore watched: 9
Times UNC disappointed me: 2
Old friends caught up with: 3
Gym workouts: 0

Five Star Status---Rihanna "I'm Back"

It don't matter what I do
Always end up here with you
Baby, I'm back, back, back
Baby, I'm back, back, back
If I love something I can't pretend
I find myself in you again
I'm back, back, back, back
Baby, I'm back
Back with you again

It's Time to Talk About the Banker.

I'm going to try to divulge a little more here now in 2010. I get e-mails from yall asking questions about things I've posted and I wonder to myself, "why didn't I just explain that shit in the post"

Because of the aforementioned trend, I figured it's time to address the whole deal with the Banker. I can't really give a play by play because I'd be exhausted and you'd be annoyed... but the condensed version:

The banker is a great guy, with a couple carry-on sized bags of luggage. Me? I'm a dope chick.... I'm carrying a couple trunks. Oh well, that's life blah blah. Add in a sprinkle of bad timing, a dash of self-sabatoge, a pinch of too-many-outside-opinions, all mixed up in a Cool Hand Luke- sized "failure to communicate" and you pretty much can paint the picture.

All of that happened in 2009, and you know, eff that year, it's 2010 bitches! So I figure instead of going backwards, why not start with a little disclosure on the current state of affairs:

A lesson from boss bitch 101-- keep it movin.
If it's done it's done, when you're resolved, you're resolved. My old self (pre- New York) was cold-blooded in how I played the game.... I mean like, No phone-number-storing, ignore-you-all-night, never-respond-to-your-text, kick-you-out-cuz-this-bitch-don't-cuddle, forget-your-face-I-swear-I- will, type of stuff. So when I cut things off with the Banker right before finals because in Old Self's mind I was gonna go home for break, get over him in 10 days, then come back here, newly iceboxed and ready to continue in my don't love them, please leave them way of life. Well, let me just say. I have dug down real deep. I mean... real deep. And I can barely find even a hint of the Bad Bitch that used to live inside. Where is she? I don't know. But instead of taking a minute to evaluate the situation, I just figured If I can feign Boss mindset, the soon it will come back.

I could maintain the boss attitude for a little while. Like, I'd be spouting off to my girls, detailing how I'm "icing this muhfugga out all week" or how I'm "on to the next one" or how "I deleted ALLLLLL his shit." you know.... standard boss talk.....But what would I ALSO do?? creep on the down low. text, calls, emails, still all "boo's & babe"..... Pretty much fail.

I can't exactly quit. I just cannot walk away with my middle finger in the air. And I (was) completely baffled.

I mean, when it comes down to it, what I really think is that something is very different with my banker-friend and I. The big thing is that I true life care about the kid. And to be honest, that's a lot harder than not giving a fuck. Unfortunately "Sorry, I actually like you" isn't really an appropriate or coherent way to break things off with someone. Idk if y'all knew that or not....

This leads me to my 2nd 2010 resolution: Try a little.

Seems a bit vague, but I know what it means. for one-- it would be cool to take a risk or two, you know, with the feelings. Try and at least find a door for which someone could enter, if I can't completely lower the guard.... right? Really, the bankers best friend called me a couple nights ago and pretty much staged a one man intervention. Very intense, but it was sort of a good thing.

I was talking to a fellow Boss, Bateman. We often commiserate in the rediculousness of how a year ago thoughts/feelings/behaviors would have never even crossed our minds. This past week we swapped advice on everything from date outfits, to how to be less aloof. The best, by far was when we both admitted to trying on our respective man-friend's last names (hyphenated, of course). I mean, whatever, no biggie in real life.... but a biggie for a Boss.

Boss Bitch mentality? As K.Beau would say "great idea in theory, bad idea in practice." I don't want to be an Icebox anymore. but I don't want to be a stupid girl either. What I do know is that maybe I'll have to evolve, and evolution takes a lot of time. And a lot of the fittest just figuring out how to survive....

baby steps, y'all.

Photographs

I think my brother, Kenneth (not his name, just a deep rooted joke, but I have probably called him by his government like 5 times in the last 5 years.) is the best thing pretty much on earth, so everything he does is perfect in my eyes (awww). He got a nice camera a year ago for Christmas and does a great job documenting all of my family's National Lampoon's-esque trips and gatherings. Those are a few he took during my families pre-christmas visit to New York.

Also this picture of my dad is divine. So awkward, so typical Frank, I love it.

cookie monster and elmo in the back. great. hahahahaha


(credit: F.K.H)

Sans Microwave.

I've had a few people inquire about how I manage without using a Microwave. I manage just fine! Haha.

No, for real. I stopped using a microwave over a year ago because at thanksgiving 08. My brother told some story about an experiment where these rats were injected with water or blood or something that had been in the microwave---and then the rats promptly died. Or some scary shit like that. But then you know, my family was discussing how weird it is that like, for example: you re-heat pizza in the microwave and it tastes crazy and the bread is all gummy... That is not normal!

So, I traded the microwave for a saucepan and the stove. (Or the oven and a pyrex dish.)

I find that it doesn't take that long, and the food is delicious. Another plus? My microwave is the perfect storage for dish rags and towels. No, seriously. Its strictly storage unless we have a microwave using guest over.

So, what you do,
- place your food in the pan and put the heat on medium or low. (If you've got something like pasta or rice add a little bit of water. Like a tiny splash).
-Cover with a lid so it gets all steamy and delicious.
-check it in like 5 min. Maybe a little stirring or shifting if you feel so inclined/its burning or sticking (if it is burning or sticking, turn the heat down. Duh)
-enjoy.

Resolution #1

I really love to eat, and overall enjoy food. However, cooking is sometimes a challenge. I have always enjoyed it, and am not really bad at it, but I think I have a complex in the kitchen.

I'm left-handed. For right-handed people, you just don't understand the trials we (I) have been through with this left hand! Never mind the whole issue of my hand writing in 1st grade, and how my teachers were treating me like I was one slanted writing assignment away from being classified as special needs. My kitchen trauma goes back to summers at my Grandma's house.

Like most grandma's, mine is the quintessential amazing cook. So, of course I always wanted to help out, learn to make biscuits as good as hers, you know? I think the fact that what she showed me (in terms of cutting, mixing, egg cracking) was always backwards when she observed me was a little stressful for her. My allowed jobs were dwindled down to mixing. Even my shaky hands pouring opposite of her made her nervous! So, thus grew my whole "meh, I can't really cook" attitude.

When I was home over holiday I did a good amount of cooking and with much positive praise, to my surprise! So I decided to make that a resolution: Cook more.

The obvious benefits:
-healthier
-cheaper
-skill building

The added challenge/fun of it is that my sister is a Vegan---who eats fish. I'm a Vegan--- who eats fish (and any other meat when I'm too hungry to figure out the meatless option). She's a vegan for the health benefits, I'm. A 'fegan' (fake vegan) for the fact that a) my house hold is. b) I have the most insanely fickle stomach on earth and c) Skinny Bitch (read it, you'll see.)

All that means is that I get to try some exciting things, and have fun. This week I made (as pictured)

-salmon patties, rice w/goya black beans, and okra

-vegan tacos of corn tortillas w/ vegan cheese, spring greens, cherry tomatoes.

I'll try to post as I go. Hopefully I'll stick to this resolution!

Re-visiting the Resolutions of 2009.

Obviously it's 2010. Super crazy how it's a new year and a new decade...

I pulled out my old journal (can't really say diary because I'm not 11) and I flipped through to look at my last resolutions from the end of 2008 to 2009.

an excerpt, if you will:

" I broke up with [douche bag boyfriend] last Monday. Meh. best thing I could I have ever done. I am especially justified and relinquishing any guilty feelings because of how he behaved at the Tire Bowl. Fucking dick head. Now he's another name on the "never-going-to-speak-to-ever-again" list. cest la vie.
So now I've figured out my focus for 2009. a) I am not dating anyone. I'm not doing anything with any body. I don't even want to 'talk' to anyone. I really don't have anything to gain from any of the boys I know, and I have no desire to meet any other loser who lives in a 30 mile radius. so. I'll be single, which I love so that's that. b) I just need to buckle down and figure out my Grad School apps. Like, I need to finish them. I already decided not to apply to NYU or Columbia, I freaking don't want to go to New York and, lets be honest, I don't wanna waste the money applying to an Ivy. ECU is where I really wanna go, so I need to stop bullshitting and do it. Also, I need to get my fitness together. I'm too young to get all sloppy. So. you know, that's 3. 1) no more boys (for no more drama) 2) work towards my life plan so I won't end up a loser 3) don't be fat."

This is hilarious to me. Reading back over this stuff is a trip because of how different things are now. Reviewing the resolves of 2009, I feel like I hit all those goals. I stayed out of relationships that caused me irritation and stress (save for a couple of unavoidable hiccups....). I DID finish my graduate applications, and ended up exactly where I thought I didn't want to be. The irony is that this is the absolute best place in the world for me. ever. As for the fitness. well, I'm about 20 lbs lighter than I was a year ago, so that's cool.... but I'd definitely will keep fitness on my list of 2010 resolutions, which I'll post as well.

New Years Eve-- in 5 shots.

1) Don't kill me, SM.... just keepin it real. no make up! hair rollers!

2) standard pose you *have* to make. Kidding. No, seriously.
3) we we're ready to leave. And semi-on time....
4) Not really on full party mode yet.
5) No more than 10 minutes later.





fill in the blanks.
Happy 2010.