May 18th 2011.

A cartoon interpretation of the MSW Program.

Someone who either goes to, or went to the same grad school as me made this video. I swear this is 100% exactly how I feel and exactly what this experience is like. Social Work humor, but still funny. Give it a watch.


video via: 

2010 SSW Gala.

Butler Library Chronicles.

This is where I will be for the next 2 weeks. Home sweet home.... Makes me miss the days of undergrad and nights at DH Hill.
Last time I was in the library I saw an old man browsing nasty porn at 12:23am. So, I'm assuming more shit will go down over the next 2 weeks... And I plan to document the BLC (butler library chronicles, obv.) For your voyeuristic pleasure.

The Final Countdown.

This is my 'to do' list for the rest of the semester.
This stands between me and an amazing 4 months off school.
April 29th at 3:50 pm classes are over and I seriously am so ready.... I'm halfway finished with Graduate School!

Summer Plans.

The weather is FINALLY nice up here! the sunshine is so refreshing and I absolutely love being in the city as spring rolls in.

I've got about a month of school left. The last day of class is April 29th and my internship ends on the 7th of May. It's insane to think that I have completed almost 1/2 of my graduate program! It's been a freakin hard year. The internship was so much work, demanding on me mentally and emotionally--- but I truly loved the work I did this year. Next year my internship selections are all direct clinical practice with adults of young adults. I am looking at community clinics and university settings where I will be the primary therapist. Really exciting and I can't wait to find out where I'll be next year. 

Something else very exciting is that my internship offered me a job working for them for the summer. I'm so happy because summer jobs are hard to come by, and I definitely need to like, pay my rent, eat and breathe all summer. So, starting June 1 I will work 4 days a week as a case manager (and getting paid-- holla) I'm gonna be off on Fridays, so I can still have something that resembles a summer as well.

All of my friends will be in the city for the summer (minus Kimmy, who will be in Nicaragua). So I am so thrilled for all of the summer activites and adventures. We've got concerts and trips lined up... and at the very mininum, drinking at restaurants in their outside seating will make me plenty happy. hahaha


So, question. Summer clothing at my job is going to be tricky. For me I am a dress wearer all summer because I hate being all sweaty and gross. I obviously cannot wear that stuff with my clients, though. (on office days I can wear a little more dressy stuff).

I was thinking about getting a pair of Tom's Shoes. We have to wear closed toes, for the obvious safety reasons, but I don't want to wear super hot sneakers all summer. Do any of you have a pair? How do you like them??

This is How I'm Living.

Y'all. I didn't have SHEETS on my bed for the past couple of nights. School has been kicking me in the face since the month started and after turning in 3 major papers today I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have a written exam tomorrow from 9am-12pm and then a case presentation at my internship, Friday Morning and then I am FREE. The piles of school work have been replaced with the things I'm trying to pack for VEGAS and CHAPEL HILL. I so freakin over school right now, this break could not have come soon enough.

Vegas or Bust.

Tomorrow is March 1st. I seriously cannot believe it. My spring semester ends on April 3oth and I will have 4 glorious months off school (granted, I'll be working those months, but whatever, it will be summer in New York!)

Before I rush to the excitement of summer, I gotta make it through midterms. That's what stands between me and my Spring Break which will be spent, in part, in Vegas with my wonderful dolls, SM ans RSJ.

My to do list is uncomfortably long and my motivation is freakishly low. Not a good combination... So I am suspending my going-out privileges until Vegas. Every moment I have free is going to be dedicated to getting all this shit done so I can enjoy SB2010!


In case you care: Vegas 2/12-3/16
No. Carolina: 3/16-3/21



image found here

A Week In Review.

Hours spent at the School of Social Work: 15
Credit Hours for the Spring:16
Hard Classes: 2
Clients I can't find: 3 Amount of Toilet paper in our apartment: 0
Nights out: 3
Hangovers: 1
Inches of Subway eaten: 0 (shocking...)
Workouts: 3
Episodes of United States of Tara watched: 12
Outfit Changes: from the pile up on my chair...too many to count.

School Daze

Classes start back this week. It's sort of crazy because I was just getting comfortable going to my internship every day, like I had a 9-5 job again.

This semester I have 4 classes in addition to my intership, so my basic schedule looks like:

Still have my internship from 8-4 Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. This semester I have 4 classes instead of 3. Human Behavior in a Social Environment, Foundations of Social Work II, Advocacy, and, Social Work in an AIDS Epidemic.

Pretty excited to get back to school, I miss my friends and I miss the whole BEING a student part of being here in a way... We'll see how it goes this week.

They've cut me loose.

Here I am, way downtown around battery park. My internship had a training at DHS this morning. Instead of going up to the Bronx this morning, I went down to 33 Beaver Street myself. No problem because blackberry is amazing and google maps is a lifesaver.

I have a client who I recently got placed at a safe haven down in Manhattan on Bowery st (think location of the old CBGB). So, the training ends and here is the conversation:

Doug: so you're going over to the Andrews?
Me: um, ya. I'd like to go.
Doug: you know how to get there.
Me: (silence). I can get there. Sure.


Backstory--- I mentioned before, my internship is a mobile unit. I have an office, but we do a lot of stuff using the 5 company cars. I have become a champion passenger since I don't have driving privileges. I mean, I got over my pretty much constant car sickness AND my need to sleep while someone else drives.

Even MORE backstory-- its time for my mid-semester review. Like I've mentioned before, my school is very touchy feel-y and Doug and I have to have an hour long oral dialogue about where I think I'm at, where he thinks I'm at and a slew of other awkward-ass things. Needless to say, I am less that excited. Being evaluated is so uncomfortable. It doesn't help that Doug is a CUSSW alum, he's only 27 and he's someone who, in my real life, I'd want to be friends with/ wanna make out with a little. Hahahaha. I die.

Ok. Back to the real story--

So he cut me loose. And I know this is a "how-independent-self-sufficient-is-this-intern" test. And I am up for it. I just got to the canal street stop and I might jump off and go get me somethin fake right quick....

Actually, just got to my real stop. Wish me luck! I hope to prove myself with Doug and my co-workers...and to myself as well. I do live here now, and I can't hide out in the UWS and Hunts Point forever. Its all about branching out for the second semester...


Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Mid term madness

I mentioned earlier that it's midterm time at Columbia. We don't have tests here, exactly... more papers, lab packets, and all around a ton of stuff due. I'm a little pressed, not gonna lie because my school work is one thing, and my work at CAB is overwhelming too. On Tuesday Doug was like "Oh, hay, could you just write me up a reflection of[this meeting he took me too]? you know, 3-4 pages, whatever." Hum... sure Doug. Can't wait to just reflect for 3-4 pages. So, here I am, Thursday night, 9:45. I need to be up at 5:30 and I also need to email Doug my reflection and my process recording before 8am. Can someone PLEASE remind we why I decided to go to grad school? and a hard grad school at that?! Haha, Nah, I wouldn't have it any other way. I am actually overjoyed with where my life is at the moment. I so HAPPY right now. My friends, new and old, are great people, I adore NY and CUSSW. I have a supportive family with parents and siblings who make my world go around. So, as much as a joke and go on and on in my monotone way, bitching and moaning about the weather, the dirt, other people, whatever--- at the end of the day, my gratitude for my life and the blessing I receive every day grows and grows.

In keeping in step with the self-reflective nature of my program and with how my life is shaping up as 2009 draws to an end (Um, it's almost November?) I want to make it a point to consider these kinds of things more....the "who am I?" and "Where am I going" questions that float around in my head from time to time.


As for the outfit, the rain cleared, the sun shone. There is a nice fall breeze in the air and my boots are broken in, and I am having a good time trying out color (SM, are you proud?)



Blouse-- Liz Claiborne
Cardigan-- American Apparel
Jeans--Joes
Boots-- Sam Edelman

I got 99 problems

It's mid-term time.
I'm so freakin sleepy all the time.
I have papers that I keep hoping will write themselves.
My caseload just doubled at CAB.
I can't stop working on my farmville.
Or watching Dexter.
I'm ready to graduate.


and blah blah blah.

....but a bitch ain't one.

E's birthday and the pictures to prove it.

My sister, E turned 27 on Tuesday. She's also in the SSW, and so we're both super busy. I decided to throw E a surprise birthday party last Saturday. What I decided to do was enlist my friend Morg, and E's friend Bekah to help me pull it off. Morgan helped me plan and came early to help me set up, and Bekah occupied E long enough to surprise her. Here are some pictures.

Here is the kitchen counter as I was setting up. A little bit of food, and the blender is pulled out because I decided to blend up some dank margies.
The amazing flowers my family sent E. I helped my Mom pick them out and the Florist, located in Harlem, hooked it up.
E came back from dinner in Little Italy around 11:0pm. This is when she first turned the lights on.
And Here is the Birthday girl when everyone jumped up and surprised her!

We had an amazing night, 12 or so girls came over, we hung out (until my crazy effing neighbor came up here, tryin to buck.... she was out of line) Then we went to this local spot called Moca Lounge. We got in there, promptly got a booth and some guy pourin up mad shots. The DJ must have known we were coming because he played club banger after club banger, like all the best of the southern rap. At one point they were playin Damn! by young bloodz.

Imagine this scene: 12 girls wildin out at this like sit down sort of lounge.... The song breaks and there is a part where the lyrics go "Don't start no Shit, won't be no Shit!!" and that repeats for a bunch of counts. So we're there, getting redic. and next thing you know, it's Knuck time. Like, somehow these female bouncers tried to flex on us, told us to stop missbehaving... next thing... we're in the street. And here is a tiny bit of the evidence, post removal. They don't even tell the full story, but all I can say is the next morning we were all sorry for partying, E had an amazing birthday, and we probably can't show our faces at the neighborhood spot for a little while....

It's 3am. Yup. I have a beer in the street. Nope, it's not legal here.

Feelings are not my Forte.

A major part of the MSW curriculum at Columbia is the completion of 2 year long externships. One that the school picks for you during the first year, and in the second year you pick your own. This year I am placed at this agency in the Bronx called Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) and I am working with a program called Homeless Outreach Team (HOT). The program is extremely successful in that they have a very high rate of permanent housing placements and the percent of street homeless has decreased by 41% in the last year. OK, that's enough of my shameless plug, haha. I'm not going to pretend like I don't know what the obvious next question is. Something to the effect of "What exactly is Seshie doing working with homeless people" (??) No worries. I have asked myself that a million times. I mean, you all know me, I'm a little bourgie, let's just be honest. I feel like the Office of Field Advisement could SMELL the entitlement on me, could see my upturned nose through my application--- and honestly it is the best thing that could have happened to me, not just for my education, but for my life. This placement, and this program have become the most challenging but rewarding things I have ever done... Ok, let me back up.

What am I doing?
I am officially a social work intern and Caseworker with HOT. My supervisor is a CUSSW alum and he works with me daily, helping me to improve my skills, develop a professional identity, and overall guiding me through the 1st year placement. I have a client load of individuals who have all be defined as street homeless for a minimum of 6months. My job is to help them get housing, and, because I'm an MSW candidate, there is am emphasis on the clinical needs of my clients as well.

What makes this harder for someone like me (besides the obvious, and the brutal 7am commute) is the fact that Columbia is not effing around with us. They have challenged everything I believe, all the values I have and are slowly but surely forming a social worker. I guess they didn't get their reputation as "The First and the Finest" for nothing.

One of the things I have to do are these Process Recordings. Where I copy down a engagement I've had with a client as close to verbatim as possible, as a dialogue. Then in another column I say what my gut feelings and thoughts are, and in the 3rd column I list what skills I use in the conversation. At the end I have to state my observations, overall assessment and analysis, and my plan for follow up. I know it doesn't seem like much, but imagine then having you supervisor go over it with you and discussing it as you go. I'm lucky my supervisor is as awesome as he is, but this process is PAINFUL for me! I'm not a very outwardly emotional person, and so discussing my FEELINGS is damn near asking me to bust out some Japanese or something. I have to turn in 2 a week, and we sit for upwards of an hour talking about them. It's getting a little bit easier, but I guess I never knew this program would be such a challenge on every non-academic front known to man.

This is the most I've ever pushed myself or been pushed, and I'm amazed that I'm more or less ok with it and actually enjoying the process. Its funny because the things about me that I consider "set" and "that's just how I am" are the same things that I have got to face in order to do well here.

For example: in my Foundations of Social Work class we spend 1 hour in lecture, 1 hour being the "client" while another student is the "social worker" and the last hour the roles are reversed with a new partner. Well we had our first session last week. During the oh-too-fun verbal feedback session my partner gave me wonderful, high marks on everything...except for in 3 areas. She said "You're saying all the right things, but it doesn't exactly sound sincere. Because I know how you are (that effing phrase) I know you aren't fake... But as a client...its more difficult" Um. Kick me in the nuts a little harder please. Haha nah, I'm grateful for the feedback and I know exactly what she means. Its like the time I met one of SM's friends from Durham and he realized I worked with his cousin. I reply "ah! That's crazy. I'm so excited to meet you." And his response? "Wow. That was the least sincere thing I've ever heard." I died because, I was being serious (!!) Idk if you know it or not, but ', 'cold' and 'aloof' are NOT how a social worker wants to be described. The irony of the situation is that these traits are the same ones that cause me difficulty in relationships and in friendships (especially now ones). My new friends can't decide how to interpret my cold and blunt demeanor at first. One of the first nights me and all my new girls hung out, we were all a lil tipsy and I suppose I said something. Out of nowhere Morgan says "You have an ice box where your heart used to be" I laughed at first b/c like, she quoted Omarion!...but surprise, she was drunkenly serious. FML
In relationships, I'm magically "over it" in a matter or days, or I have no explanation or commentary for questions like "what are you feeling?" The inevitable "let's talk about _______." Leaves my mind blank. I have close to no interest in having THAT kind of talk. Ever.

So, this personality of mine, which has been just fine for the past my whole life, is now needing some serious tweaking... And I sort of have no clue what that will be like. So if I call you up, wanting to talk about feelings, or you find my tone and cadence filled with inflection and expressive tones, don't be alarmed... I'm just progressing...its all long overdue anyways, I just never thought my Master's degree would depend on this...yikes.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Busy as eff

I have been insanely busy. Like when field placement started my life went into overdrive. I honestly don't have any true free time and the time I do use as "free" should really be reading time, or doing some of the seemingly endless errands. I have also become a bit of a freak about cleaning. I think it's because of the hardwood floors. On top of that, I kind of have to go to bed by 10:00-11:00 on 3 nights of the week because I gotta get up at like 5:30.... but hello, thats giving up a lot of valuable hours. I am working on balancing it all out, and creating a manageable schedule... but I'm not there yet.

I do have a nice update about my field placement, and I will get better about the posting as soon as things settle.

In other exciting news: SM is coming to visit me on Friday! We've been apart for a month, and thats a long time for us! So I'm thrilled to have wifey in the city, I plan to show her a good time, and she gets to meet the banker.... should be interesting....

What I'm Wearing 09.14.09

Cardigan--H&M

Shirt-- H&M

Jeans-- James Jeans

Loafers-- Isaac Mizrahi for Target

I have to be at the School of Social Work all day for a preparation for field placement thing. Not gonna lie, while I get the importance, I totally don't want to go. I'm a little OD'ed on these seminars and trainings. I'm sure I will be 100% grateful for it when I'm knee-deep in bullshit shenanigans later in the semester, but right now... I'm just wanting to watch my DVR to catch Mad Men and Entourage from last night....

First Day of School!

Jacket-- Old Navy

Tank and Tee-- C&C

Jeans-- Seven for all Mankind

Flats-- Tory Burch

Today is my first day of class! I am actually very nervous. It's so strange being a student again, I am in the process of packing my school bag and I'm all like "err... what even goes in here?!" I still need to buy books, a paper planner (even though I love blackberry, I still need that paper planner for like back up. obsessive, but oh well) and a file for my papers, etc. Sounds like a little trip to Staples is in order for the weekend.

Also in order for this weekend is a MAJOR H&M trip and some online shopping. You guys. its 67 degrees for the high today-- this is not dress weather. and I seriously only own dresses. So my new thing is shopping for tops. I'm excited because I have been here for 3 weeks and haven't been able to afford to go shopping--- graduate school is total poverty, jesus.

Wish me luck!