Vegas or Bust.

Tomorrow is March 1st. I seriously cannot believe it. My spring semester ends on April 3oth and I will have 4 glorious months off school (granted, I'll be working those months, but whatever, it will be summer in New York!)

Before I rush to the excitement of summer, I gotta make it through midterms. That's what stands between me and my Spring Break which will be spent, in part, in Vegas with my wonderful dolls, SM ans RSJ.

My to do list is uncomfortably long and my motivation is freakishly low. Not a good combination... So I am suspending my going-out privileges until Vegas. Every moment I have free is going to be dedicated to getting all this shit done so I can enjoy SB2010!


In case you care: Vegas 2/12-3/16
No. Carolina: 3/16-3/21



image found here

Crisis Avoided.

My mom got me this beautiful B. Makowsky bag for Christmas. I love it and carry it as my purse, after having made my old purse my school bag.

Last friday I went to a friend of mine, Malik16's, show at Bowery Poetry Club. It was a really dope venue and I saw some excellent artists perform. At some point I went to the bar to get another drink, and I looked down at my bag to find it stained with light blue and green paint. Die.

Oh my god, freakin died. Couldn't really deal with it, so I just parked the bag for the weekend and left it alone until Sunday.
I found some various techniques for removing paint from leather off of google, but I was so nervous because I didn't want to ruin the bag. 2 hours with a baking soda + vinegar mixture and q-tips and I got the paint lifted from the bag!! I was so freakin happy to have saved it. The weird thing is I still have no clue where the paint came from because no one else had it on them. Also, why the eff would you paint some walls and have wet paint he night of an event at your venue? Dumb.

Oh well, Crisis avoided...

Party Pics.

my Best-guy-friend-Karl was in town this past weekend. Interestingly enough, Morgs (my bestie up here) has a best guy friend too. She met him in college at UNC and his name is Chase. Weirdly enough, Chase is Karls Brother. smallest world on earth. My girl from College LA also lives in NYC, so we all went to Marquee on Saturday night... here are a few highlights...

click to enlarge....

Party Pictures.

02.13.10-- k.beau's 24th.

Vegan Fail.

Bacon ordered at Tom's Restaurant. 3:00am

Rope-A-Dope

Rope-A-Dope-- refers to a boxing technique made famous by M. Ali. The idea is that he would get into a defensive stance and let's his opponent beat him up. The opponent would think he was winning because of all the landed hits. Meanwhile Ali is posted up, waiting for the other guy to get tired, then he comes off the ropes, K.O's the other guy and its a rap.

I like that idea and it's an applicable like approach as well. However, in this situation...I'm the fucking other guy...and I got Ali-ed.

My sister E met a boy in January. This was delightful to me because I figured once she was occupied and entertained the focus on my unconventional 'relationship' with the banker would no longer be in the spot light.

So she sends me a BBM in the class we have together: 'what are you doing Friday at 9'

Side bar: the correct way to answer this question is "why?" If you're like me and say "mmm...nada, what's up" you are already saying yes to whatever the plan is. See how I don't have any defenses up? See how my ass is just runnin around the ring all willy-nilly like I don't need to protect my face!

Ok, so she then asks me if I'll go bowling at the spot in Harlem. She explains that her new boo is bringing his buddy from college and he asked E to bring a friend too. She then explained that she really wanted me to get to know her lil boo better and it was gonna mean a lot to her if I went.

So, I say yes because I am dumb and because I love E. I make it very clear that I want the guy-friend to know that I am there as E's sister. Not as nobody's date. I don't go on dates like that. And, if I did? Trust. It wouldn't be a blind one to go bowling.

So the Friday night rolls around and we head to the spot. I'm not sure what to wear because E keeps insisting it's 'totally casual. Real chill'. So I put on a black v-neck tee. Skinny jeans, my fucking Nikes... And for good measure I put on a nicer cardigan and, like real make-up. E is wearing like, boots, and a nice coat and like, I'm thinking, whatever....this is HER date. I'm here to like.... Bowl.

Went we get there I see E's boo and he explains that his friend... Is in the bathroom. we'll call my date "Elliott"

When Elliott does appear I do the mental filing that every person on earth does when they meet someone of the opposite sex:
My thoughts went like this---
'Hum...tall, nice clothes. Not that hot. Sort of not fit. Probably very nice. I def. Could never date him.... I don't wanna even bang it out.... Category: after tonight I'll never see this kid again.'

Seems shallow, but act like that's now how it really happens.

I am immediately played when I meet him. He says something to effect of "it isn't often I get to take beautiful girls out... Of course its on me."

What.

This is a 'taking me out' why the fucckkkk is this a date?

This bowling alley was the kind of place that had a full bar in it. E and I go and buy the first round. So all 4 of us re having a beer, getting ready to bowl and Elliott and I start making small talk. As I we chat I realize a few things. 1- He has a great personality. 2- He isn't "ugly". He's more teddy bear cute. 3- I am on a date. Personality is my kryptonite. I am a sucker for a good vibe. I'm also a natural born flirt and, contrary to popular belief, I am really freakin nice.... so it pretty clear how this is going to go down.

To quicken this story I'll hit up the highlights:

- I start drinking like a fish because Elliott is stressing me out. For ever compliment he dished, cheap feel he copped, and follow-up date he arranged, I drank. So much that after the 2 hour bowling session I'd had 7-8 beers. The boys? they had 1. E? she had 3.

- So now I'm that drunk girl, talkin shit, getting belig. Cussing every time I roll a gutter ball, talking shit to Elliott and E's date, etc.

- Elliott make a bet that if I out score him, he picks our next date, and if he outscores me, I pick it. my response is "well. I guess I respect your hustle, Elliott." What.

- He keeps on getting hugs and has me sit on his knee like I'm some kind of child. I don't sit on nobody's knee and all that close talking is weird.

- He asks me if I have a boyfriend. I say "no....but I'm not single either." I pulled the Eyrkah Badu Next Life Time intro move "... you know, I'm in a situation...." He responds that he is up for the challenge. In life if he sees something he likes, He'll go after it. And he is more than ready to make my #1 disappear. What.

-When we leave bowling he is walking with me in the street. I am trying to BBM my friends/ text the banker a fast as possible. he then HOLDS MY HAND AND PUTS IT INSIDE OF HIS COAT POCKET FOR WARMTH. I want to puke all over him at this point. a) you're trying to keep me from texting. Yes is rude, but you don't need to be trying to regulate my behavior, guy. b) you're holding my hand inside your pocket and it's gross.

- We get to this bar and E realizes she left her tab open at the bowling alley. So she and her boo go back to get it. And I am just there, drunk.

- As I mentioned before, he has a good personality. So, I tell him I'm really hungry, since I drank my dinner at the bowling alley. We go to his car and head to the IHOP in Harlem.

- On the way he keeps referring to me as "his perfect Clair Huxtable." what. That is fucking weird. You don't know me.

- He keeps making references to me as his future wifey. "...lets say, you and I get married...." And he keeps pouring compliments on me. All I can think is "this wasn't supposed to be a date."

- He was weird about food. I order a fat Omelet and he gets pancakes. He doesn't use the butter and he askes for sugar-free syrup. Not a problem at all.... but he kept like talking about it. Things like "I've been back in the gym lately" or "if you and I have kids, we'll have to make sure they are active in sports because their daddy has big genes." whyyyy.

The end of the night:

We leave IHOP after a good conversation, and a part of me is sorry that I can't/won't date this kid. A small, small part.

He tells me that he'd like to take me out again on Feb. 19th. Somewhere downtown for jazz, and he let me know upfront that he was comfortable being #2 right now and that he was working for the #1 spot. That made my skin crawl. I felt like Carrie in the episode when she and Miranda are trying on ugly wedding dresses, and because Carrie doesn't really want to marry Aiden she has the aaa (acute anxiety attack) and has to rip the dress off. I NEVER confirmed these dates. I NEVER did anything to make him think I was in to him. I treated him like I treat all my platonic relationships. I swear.

We get to my house and I tell him good night. He insists on walking me to my door. I am dying. At the door he starts in on the speech about how great the night was, etc. I give him some awkward hug and try to slip in my door. He has my arm and pull me back. DIE.

He gives me a kiss on the cheek and I return it. I don't even know why. Then he goes for ANOTHER kiss on the cheek-fake-out and tried to fucking kiss me. Here's where shit gets real.

I PUT MY HAND OUT TO HALT HIM. (read: sp awkward and unpleasant for everyone.) and I am visible shaking my hand and I may or may not have been hand gesturing to him as well. Here is me: "No, no, no, no, no. No, Elliott. No. No." Really, Sesh? Like.... seriously?

He then proceeds to beg me. Yup. Shameless begging " Please.... Please, just one Kiss? Please."

Me: (more hand gestures) No Elliott. No..... but, I had a great night, drive home safe!" POOF: I disappear into my building feeling all icky and sick.

Then the texts, and calls begin. I find out that this "date" on the 19th is actually his birthday. Who asks a stranger who isn't that into you to be the birthday date? I spend most of the week ignoring the calls and responding to the text as seldom as possible. It gets worse when I find out from E that Elliot told E's boy that he felt like we had a major connection and really clicked. What. What. Whatttttt is this!?

"Elliott, No." Is the new punchline between me, my sister and my Mom. It's the 2010 version of "Scotty, Don't" that SM and RSJ coined in 2007.

Thing is, I don't know how to get out of the date on the 19th. Yea, thats on Friday. I don't want to be a bitch, but I am not going. I like, cannot go. I feel so bad that my drunk ass somehow made this boy feel like he'd met his future wife. Even worse.... if he didn't lay it on so thick and scare me so much we could have at least been friends. my best guy friend Karl is going to be in town on the 19th, so I'm hoping I can somehow use that as a valid get-out-of-date-free card.

In this scenario, I am the dope. All night I thought I was runnin things. And end the end I got knocked the fuck out.

A week in review.

9- number of tequila shots between the banker and I at our weekly dinner.
5- text/calls from the ghosts-of-boyfriends-past
6- hours spent at uptown salon to get my hair cut on a saturday.
9- weeks since I got my eyebrows done.
7- days that doug(who-i-secretly-wanna-make-out-with) is out of town on vacation.
1- hour fight on sat. with the banker, witnessed by Morgs. (Read: awkward)
1-bottle of champagne to the face at K.beau's 24th b-day, on sat.
1- o'clock pm reconciliation lunch tomorrow with said banker.
6- phone calls I've ignored from my accidental date of 2 weekends ago.
3- epic tales I plan to post before the week ends.

Glitter in the Air.

This is Pink performing 'Glitter in the Air' at the Grammys. Never mind the obvious talent she has to be able to sing while doing the acrobatics.... this song is amazing. I'm so obsessed with it right now. I cannot stop playing it. like this is worse than my Alicia Keys OD earlier in the year.

Yall. I have some insane shit to share, and I am honoring requests (Akili, I got your tweets) .... I'll get to typing, promise.

Settling for Mr. Good Enough....?

So I've seen this book reviewed in a couple of places, but last night Kim sent me this link. I have read it twice and still mulling over my thoughts... Basically the author is saying that many women are still single because they have a standard that is set too high, and expectations that are unfair/unattainable. Ok, valid. A lot of girls want a top 10-- but this lady is saying that many girls are passing over great guys because they aren't bothering to look at the 6's and 7's. I'm not talking about looks specifically, I mean the total package, ps.

When I read over the list, I thought about the fact that I am *guilty* of most of these. Like, for example, I don't know that I think my options are unlimited, but as my wise Aunt Lois said "if one won't, another one will." And I fully agree with that. I personally do feel like i deserve a good guy, not some guy I'm settling for because I can't find a guy who acts right. I mean, say you meet a guy who is an over all 6. I just don't understand why he has to be considered as a potential partner. Oh, that's right. I'm judgmental (apparently another 'mistake' of the single lady.) judgment gets a shitty reputation. And I'm not even gonna use the typical "I'm not judgmental, I just know what I like" excuse. Thing about it is that everyone is judgmental. We spend every second of the day making snap judgments, from deciding if we can really afford to sleep another 10 minutes, to scarf-or-no-scarf, cook-or-takeout, etc. Just like these snap decisions, I think most girls have an initial gut reaction when they meet new boys. I have NEVER come away from a meeting and not know what category they fall into. I think this author is saying that holding fast to too high standards and having all these deal breakers sets girls up to lose. Sure, it's possible. But I just think that every girl deserves to be happy and get exactly what she wants (Whoops, there I go, being all 'entitled').

Overall, I'm not sure why I have a problem with this book.... I'll mull it over and see what I can figure out. Check out the 7 Mistakes Single Girls Make below.... what do you think?

"If you've working and you’re wondering why you haven’t met Mr. Right yet, think about looking for the qualities that are important. You can find someone you’ll be really happy with and fall totally in love with. These guys are all around you but you’re not giving them a chance. You could be passing up tons of Mr. Rights. And you’re going out with all the Mr. Wrongs. It’s less about what you wear or do on a date than it is about having healthier standards. You can still have the fairy tale, but it will look different from what the media portrays as the fairy tale.…The same unrealistic expectations we have about dating, we have about marriage, too. Married people have said that this book makes them appreciate their husbands more.” - The Author

Here’s what many single women do that we might want to reconsider:

1. We feel entitled.
Gottlieb: “Women try to be good friends to each other. We say, ‘You deserve this, you’re so great! You’re such a good catch! Any man would be lucky!’ [Men don’t say that to each other.] We are good catches, but we also are human and we’re not perfect and somebody’s going to have to put up with us for the rest of his life. And we forget. My dating coach said, write down all the reasons a guy would not want to date you. At first I didn’t think I had that many things, because you think you’re a pretty good catch. He said, what you think of as quirky, endearing, and cute, is really annoying to someone else. But he would love you so much that he would overlook that. And you need to overlook things in him. Everybody has to compromise.”

2. We think we have unlimited options.
Gottlieb: “You walk into a store and you know you want a sweater and it has to go with this outfit and it has to be this color, and you’d like to be on sale. You find something great, but you wonder if there’s something better out there, so you keep searching. In the end, after three more weeks of searching for the perfect sweater—was it so much better than the one you could have bought originally? Whether it’s with men or sweaters…if you just think you have unlimited options for the rest of your life, of course you’ll keep looking, who wouldn’t?”

3. We’re judgmental.
Gottlieb: “The guys I interviewed for the book said women judge them so much. Women gave me 300 reasons they wouldn’t go on a second date with a guy, and men gave 3. When guys are ready for that stage of life, they find someone who is good enough that they’re totally in love with—but that person may not seem to the outside world to be as appealing in superficial ways—maybe she’s not as accomplished or funny as the last girl. Whatever he sees in her, he does. Guys don’t sit and micro-analyze a woman the way a woman would with a man. He knows she’s not as hot as the last girl he dated, but that’s okay. She’s hot enough.”

4. We’re pickier than men.
Gottlieb: “With online dating, we judge based on objective criteria (height, sports nut), rather than subjective (attraction), which you can’t judge until you meet the person. When you read other people’s profiles, don’t make assumptions or rule them out because of one thing they wrote. You can fall in love with a guy who wrote that he likes Madonna, but you can’t fall in love with a guy who isn’t kind.”

5. We go for the alpha males.
Gottlieb: “In cities where you find a lot of really ambitious, Type A, driven people, like in NYC and L.A., with the entertainment business and Wall Street…you get a lot of ‘maximizers’ [people who keep looking over their shoulder for something better]. Maximizer women date maximizer men. They will be just as picky in a bad and unhealthy way. The men who are actually available and wanting commitment and who are smart and funny and cute—maybe one guy is a little bit shorter, so he’s not getting the women. Maybe he’s not smooth initially or in big groups, but he is one-on-one. These are the kind of people who when you’re 35, 45, 55, that you’ll be happy with when you’re married, and the guy who is super charming at the party and has the crowd of women around him, maybe he’s not going to make as good of a husband. Maybe he’s not going to call you back. That guy is going to be judgmental and picky, and who wants that?”

6. We think, “I love me more.”
Gottlieb: “We don’t need a man. We don’t. But if you want one and you go around with this attitude of ‘I love me more,’ [what Samantha said in the Sex and the City movie, after she dumps a hot guy who helped her through cancer (and female audiences cheered)] well, a relationship is about reciprocity, so you need to love yourself and you need to be able to have some selflessness and love somebody else. Women take Samantha’s message as really empowering. If you don’t want to be alone—maybe Samantha does—that’s a dangerous message.”

7. We think he needs to share every interest.
Gottlieb: “We say, ‘I’m a writer, but he doesn’t read! I’m creative.’ But people can be creative in different ways, and the fact that he doesn’t read the same books that you do, well, maybe he wants someone who he can talk about the baseball game with but you’re not that person. The guy doesn’t have to be one-stop shopping. You’re not going to share every single interest, and that’s okay. The shared interest should be, Do we want the same things out of life? Do we both want to be married right now?”

Week In Review

11-- Ego Waffles w/ honey eaten this week.

7-- hours the banker and I spent at our favorite restaurant.

15-- minutes I was late to class on Thursday

2-- days that I wore my new glasses (I went with frames #1, btw)

89-- cost of monthly unlimited metro card.

27,332--- Chase bank rewards points I had accrued--- renewed the for $60 worth of Sephora gift cards. Treat!

4--- hours spent at a harm reduction training. Now I'm able to administer anti OD meds to anyone overdosing on opiates... And am a participant in the needle exchange program (swapping used needles for clean ones, disposing them properly, supplying 'safe use' kits... For IV drug users.)

Long Lost Christmas Card.

I am finally getting room cleaned and organized after realizing that the growing clutter and chaos was making me miserable. I am shuffling through old mail and found some unopened mail. It came after I'd left for home but while my family was still in New York. This christmas card from Grace and her son was in the pile and it just made my day!

My Brother's got talent...

K.O Kid

MIA

Just when I got my blogging back on point, I go MIA. Damn.

I'm not even gonna go through the list of excuses, but... In my defense, I just let a shitload of crops die on my farmville. Yup, I haven't even tended to my farm...

Stay tuned friends, I'll be back from this brief hiatus soon!

A Week in Review.

0: the number of homeless people found in my zone.

230: dollars spent on textbooks this semester.

0: number of times I went out this week.

1: painfully awkward/fail engagement witnessed (more on that later)

2: days I had drinks before the sun had set

3: Kim Kardashian butt workouts done this week

1: dual purpose trips to Chase Bank

2: food items/meals added to the 'can't eat' list (more on THAT later)