I'm so bad at Halloween. Selecting a costume is difficult and like, having fun is a struggle too. Don't get me wrong, I'm effing fun as hell, but something about Halloween just kills me. I think this is why I always had a hard time getting on board with themed Pi Phi functions. I never knew what to wear/ didn't want to wear it. So, obviously last night was Halloween, and my friend KB decided to have a party at her apartment because her sister, as well as many of her friends from undergrad were in town.
Now, it's not like Halloween can just sneak up on you. Obviously its on Oct. 31, and every place on earth has seasonal swag everywhere. Why I wait until 7:00pm on Halloween night to look for a costume is beyond me. Couple that with the level of mayhem in the city because its gang initiation week and Saturday was the last night of it all. Needless to say, wandering around looking for a costume in the dark by myself wasn't really an option.
So, the banker came by after he got on work around 4:00 and we caught some of the Wake Forest v Miami game while I took a break from school work and he more or less napped on the couch. This turned into Nap Time At The Hargett's-- and here I am, take a nap, mid day, when I really have like, oh, a million things I need to do. Now, banker doesn't "do' Halloween after 29 years of NYC living, he's not up for the shenanigans that the night inevitably produces (man after my own heart, but i digress...)
We leave my house around 7, he is heading to the 116th street bus stop and I decide that to find a costume I should go to the only place I ever want to go for anything-- Rite Aid. I can't explain my relationship with it. Everything there is more expensive, they don't even have what I'm looking for 1/2 the time. The real grocery store is 1 more block away and there are bodegas, 99 cent stores (real popular up here), and liquor store in like a 3 block radius, but I am die hard Rite Aid! There was no costume in there. All they had left were fake severed limbs. I thought if worse comes to worse I could just wear some clothes, carry the fake bloody leg around and be a cannibal or something. Yup, a cannibal. That's the upper limit of my creativity. I buy beer and head home.
I immediately start dissecting my closet (and E's closet or that matter) and have come up with bits and pieces to make up costumes, but each suffered from the inevitable "if only I'd planned earlier....." crisis, and were discarded. While digging for a baseball cap I stumbled across my apron. You know, the one I own for when I cook (and y'all know I don't really cook like that....) Back to my closet.
I find my fishnets. over sized pearls. over sized button earrings. cardigan.... mary janes.... hum. what can I make..... OK, now for the back story:
my friends and I up here are all in a very interesting boat. All of us have a "somebody" in our lives, and up until last week, only Kelly was official. You know, an actual wifey. All of us joke about how we're just tryin to get that wifey status or how we want the "somebody" to become Superboo one day (Superboo-- download Kid Cudi song with same title). Clearly I haven't divulged much about me and the banker as of lately, but I can say that we are still in the "you're somebody" stage.
OK. Back to the front story:
I'm talking to Kelly at the time about how much Halloween sucks and costumes are confusing etc. I tell her what I have as possibilities. Conversation.
Me "I mean I just have these big ass pearls and you know, some bourgie clothes"
Kelly " I have a gold mask if you wanna borrow it."
Me "And what would I be?"
Kelly "I don't know."
Me "dammit. I'm just gonna dress like a housewife, put on this apron and go as Wifey. I mean, Halloween is supposed to be about playing make-believe, and all, right"
Kelly " OMG. I Die. That's hilarious. Get dressed and get over here."
so, I guess that solved that. and thus my costume was born. KB's visiting friend Jess gave it an official title "Can't turn a Ho into a Housewife"Fitting title for many reasons, but mainly because after many adult beverages my costume lost the skirt portion. in the official sense-- I still had the apron on....
So here are a couple very sloppy pictures. I'll add the pants-less one for your viewing pleasures as soon as whoever camera it's on sends it.
Me, KB, and Tomas playin around in front of the camera.
Myself and darling Tomas. He is officer Dangle from Reno 911
Me and Kelly finally pull of some sort of costume and pose for a picture.
There it is, me, and my new favorite Bud Light Golden Wheat. Big Pearls and all.
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