90 Day Evaluation Plan.

My friend T, started posting this today on twitter, and my co-worker and I discussed it. I planned to go back and get them all, but, just like a smart girl would, T compiled the list and sent it as a note on facebook.


The 90-Day evaluation Plan..... provocative because I am assuming most of us (girls and boys) use some sort of assessment measure to decide how and where a new relationship is going. So, I'm posting The Plan according to T.... and, as always, thoughts?

Behold, I have developed a 90 day evaluation plan for new relationships designed to stop singles from wasting their damn time. Here's how it works... First, you need to decide when to start the 90 days. I start it from the first day that interest beyond a platonic friendship is expressed. Others can decide to start when they gain at a title. I just don't have time for all that extra.

There are 15 areas up for evaluation. You can remove those that don't apply to you and add those that do if you wish. You want to score someone from 1-10 on each area. I personally like to add everything up and get the average of all 15. If someone is under 85% then they get the boot. Others might want to just look at where their mate falls under each category and talk about ways to improve the relationship. But I'm a bitch so I'm not with the second chances.

The most important thing for me is that the person doesn't know that they are being evaluated. You can't be like "oh, this date isn't quality and scribble it down". Just let things flow and press pause at 90 days and figure out if its worth continuing. Also, don't be evaluating your mate but not pulling your weight in the new relationship. You can't ask for what you don't give. That's all my friends. Here are the area with a brief description:

1. Quality of conversation: Can you explore different issues that are important to both parties? Does the conversation stay the same? Can this person communicate?

2. Quality of dates: Are you going on a variety of dates to locations that you enjoy? Are you learning about your partner through said dates? Do both parties take an equal role in planning for dates?

3. Sense of Humor: This isn't just about if the person is funny but do they know when and how to be funny? Personally, if I don't pee my pants in the first 90 days, you gots to go.

4. Intelligence: no dummies... I mean CLEARLY! Can they articulate a proper thought? Are they well rounded in their intellect? Do you DIE when you read all the typos in their text messages?

5. Spirituality: How do your belief systems line up? How comfortable are you that they aren't going DIRECTLY to hell?

6. Outward Appearance: How physically attracted are you to this person? Is their style compatible to yours? Are you afraid to bring them to Sunday dinner? Ya'll know my family will CLOWN me for bring the hunchback of Notre Dame home...

7. Friendship Groups: How well do you get along with his/her friends? Birds of a feather... Is his/her flock lame? Then so is (s)he...

8. Family Connections: Does (s)he have a good relationship with his/her family? Extreme Mama's Boys or Daddy's Girls? Have you met the family?

9. Sexual Chemistry: Let's just be real serious, real quick- if it aint right, it aint right. Be real with yourself. Its supposed to get better NOT worse...

10. Spontaneity: Are things predictable in a boring way or can you switch it up?

11. Physical Affection: are you getting what you need physically OUTSIDE of the bedroom? Do your needs match with their capabilities?

12. Tokens of Affection: PRESENTS!!! Small gifts, cards, flowers... all are appreciated. I'm going to need for you to be giving and getting them. How thoughtful are they?

13. Ease of Relationship: How hard are you trying? In the first 90 days, you shouldn't have to kill yourself to make it work.

14. Conflict Resolution Skills: Can they effectively resolve issues without resorting to counterproductive tactics?

15. Your Instincts/Trust: what is your gut telling you? Was (s)he at a friend's house or running the streets when the phone was mysteriously off? I'm just saying...