Unfortunate Events.

Just when I started to think that I'm too boring to keep my blog going much longer, my usual life Tom Foolery picks back up. Check this.

So tonight (Thursday) the banker made an impromptu stop at my apartment. The sock drawer on my bed was broken. Now I'm a regular Betty-the-Builder, but I couldn't fix this by myself, the way it was broken. Good ole Banker. He fixes it with no problem, sawdust kind of flying every where, but whatever. About 20 minutes later I look over at him and he has this lil raised stop on his cheek. It sort of looks like a zit. Honestly? Why first thought was "where the eff did this zit grow from?" Like, Banker's got freakishly clear skin (part of the reason he's a certified dime!) So this zit was a little outlandish. Whatever though, zits it happens to everyone....

10 minutes later Banker has a coughing fit. I'm like... Seriously don't die on me. He's complaining that his throat feels strange, tight and itchy. he's been battling some sort of cold so you know, we dismissed it.

Not more than 5 min. Later look at his face and inform him that his face is breaking out in hives.

Hives.

So first comes the hydrocortisone cream. Then I search for Benedryl but don't have anymore (all I have it zyrtec, which I think might work, but I wasn't sure) so I send him to Rite-Aid and home, his face covered in 8 big ole hives and his back itching up a storm.

So I'm sitting around, call up Cynth. And a few min. Into the conversation, I look at the spot I've been scratching nonchalantly... Son of a B, I'm breaking out in hives. So what do I do? Sit there like a dumb ass, playing on farmville, and dicking around.

I laugh to myself thinking about how my girl Morgs told me to stop posting things about my Farmville on Facebook b/c she's shamed for me....then I realize my throat is mad tight. Welp. I'm dying.

Ok, not dying. But hello, I don't have Benedryl. FML, seriously, why would I set myself up to die b/c of the sawdust on the damn drawers?

Of course Cynth is ride-or-die and she googles Zyrtec while I take a cold shower. She let's me know that the Zyrtec will hold it down just like my old friend Bene. In hindsight, all my off label abuse of Benedryl as a sleeping agent is exactly why I didn't have any tonight when I needed that shit....

Anyways. I fill Sam in. We laugh at how pathetic we are. (Last time I saw him I threw my back out like somebody's old-ass granddaddy, and he was over here with a stuffy nose/fever/cough/sore throat treating it with only Theraflu like a little ass kid.) To make matters worse, I'm in bed itching/dying. He's at home and as per his last text message: " Damn I swallowed a halls that wasn't fully done. So it's dissolving slowly... Ugh!! Shldv chewed it first...." He isn't really doing much better. Tomorrow I have my Agency holiday party up in the Bronx... And after I'm going with Sam to his office holiday party. All I know is my hives better go away.

This is the kind of mess I'm talking about. Oh well, it will be funny sometime next week I guess....

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