I'm sorry I partied 101. The Basics

The first time I was ever Sorry For Partying was also the first night I ever got torn up drunk. It was the last day of school, 10th grade, 2001. My 2 best mates and I came up with an elaborate lie in order to ensure that we we're going to make it to this keg party at Jordan lake. What did or did not happen that night is still open to interpretation/open for debate. The next morning waking up, covered in mud, soaked in beer, and after having slept in a Chevy Cavalier parked in a church parking lot, it hit me. Hazy memory, on puke-mode, dirty, uncomfortable, confused "what the eff is my life" feeling. It's more than a hangover, more than "dude I was shithoused last night" This is true SFP.

Let me clarify. Every night I go out doesn't qualify as a Sorry For Partying. There is a certain level of debauch redic-ness that must occur both the night of and the morning after. By no means am I an expert, but I will say, that my field training is extensive and well documented (thanks to facebook and a blackberry). While it's not exactly scientific, I think I've got the qualifiers more or less tacked down.

The night of can usually be measured based on your answer to these questions:

1. What is my mindset tonight?
2. How early am I going to start, and when will I stop?
3. The type of drinks do I plan to face tonight?
4. How much/What am I going to eat?
5. Where I am going tonight?

The morning after can be measured by asking yourself these follow-up questions.

1. Where am I?
2. Am I still wearing last nights clothes?
3. did I wash face/brush teeth/take out contacts?
4. How severe is my hangover?
5. Am I injured at all?
6. Do I know how I got home?

Additionally, some of these sure fire signs aren't questions, but more evidence. Some examples include:

• You end your night going home with/ bringing someone back with you whom you just met that night or only know from the scene.
• You lose your phone or get your phone wet
• Any item of your clothing is soiled, ripped, or ruined
• You puke before bed.
• You wake up to puke.
• You wake up in puke.

If you meet any of these, then congrats. You're Sorry You Partied.