Venus vs Mars: on Communication.

I mentioned that in my brief time away, I would randomly think of things I wanted to write on my blog, I'd start the post, then just save it as a draft. Well, all of those stories/snippets/I'm sorry for partying/life lessons, have turned in to a lil somethin' somethin' I'm going to call "Venus vs Mars." Why? a) When Jay-z's Blueprint 3 came out, banker and I heard that song, resolved it was written about is and geeked out about it for about 2 weeks. b) over the weeks, I have had numerous "oh, word??" moments with the Banker. You know what I'm talking about.... like, something happens that is good for the gander (read: NOT good for the goose) and ALL I can think is "Oh, wooorrrddd????" Like, this is so not gonna work. For like... me. At all.

As these little situations have come and gone, I have had time to reflect on them, on me, on girls in general. You know, all that "self-awareness" that I am learning at school (see how applicable it all is??) Figured I would share them because really as far as you know, all I do in New York is stand around taking pictures of myself in clothes/whine about being busy/listen to songs with awkward love undertones. Not (completely) true. I just hit my 100th post the other day, and figure anyone who still reads should be privy to a little more inside information. Lets see how many of you are left when I get to the 200th post.... so, here goes:

In the inaugural post of this nature, I'll hit you with the most recent.

Venus vs Mars--- Communication.


Allow me to set up the scene:

[End of September]

Me: Banker, my schedule in November is totally erratic. I'm going home the first weekend for a wedding, my mom's gonna come up for like a week, You know, I'll leave for Thanksgiving....
Banker: How do you fill up your whole November when it's September?
Me: I don't know... but we're like, never gonna see each other.
Banker: It will be fine, I usually go on Vacation in November, this year I'm thinking Barbados, maybe Cabo.
Me: What.
Banker: I'm not going to forget about you because I'm going on vacation.

Whats wrong here?? In theory, nothing at all. In fact, I'll give the boy snaps for picking up on the mini freak out I had when he mentioned "Cabo" (in my defense, I think it was a reflex! Seriously, though...who the eff is like, "hey, boy-I-wanna-date, please, run as fast as you can to Sodom and Gamorrah-- no worries here." Please.) In the conversation above, indeed: Whats Good for the Goose, is Good for the Gander.

Lets come back to this little scenario: [last week]
sidebar: This is about day 12 of mess. Schedules are all over the place, he's doing ~60hrs a week, I'm waking at 5:00am and going to bed at 1:00am. It's an all around sucky crap-tastic time.

Me: Banker, I'm gonna be up for another couple of hours, you wanna call me here now in a few so I can take a break. (a text, obviously)
Banker: Can we talk tomorrow?? I'm half way to being asleep..... I'm sorry, Goodnight babe.

[here is the 10 minute window of angry silence that translates as "no text back"]

Banker: ?? hello?
Me: well, you know I'm going home on Thursday, and when I get back my mom is here for the week. I have no clue when we're gonna hang out, what, in December? [this is the blog-better version of my text back. the REAL one was full brat mode. but, for self-preservation, I've edited it. At least I admitted it though....]
Banker: I'm going to Barbados next week.

And: I promptly call SM, which is crazy because I don't like talking on the phone. Mid-SOS phone call the Banker Beeps in.

We talked, we mended. All is well. But let me break it down:

*Boys and Girls are different. Very different. Not the same at all. And sometimes, no matter how wonderful everything else is, the fundamentals can get a little messy. Take communication: Banker figured I remembered he took vacation in November. Yea, I remember him saying it, but I had no clue in real life. Me, I wanna know things like "Hey, I'm thinking of going on holiday, ________ week" or "I just got tickets for vacation!" Little update are nice. Being in the loop is GOOD FOR THE GOOSE. If the Goose is happy, the Gander is happy! Isn't this a basic concept?


The only way this is even remotely tolerable, aside from my ride-or-die girls, is the Banker himself. I am fortunate to have a nice boy like the banker. The little (and not so little) hiccups are made that much easier because he isn't a jackass. In fact, most of the time when these Venus vs. Mars differences occur, I am ready to peace out. I'm a quitter sometimes, I'll confess. My friends (who are all "team Banker" as they so readily remind me) are quick to give me some perspective: Good guys are few and far between. Banker is no angel-- but he always tries. I means, lets be honest, I'm not Sandra Dee. I'm more of a Rizzo. And that can be a lot of fun, until it's not fun anymore more, I'm sure. Basically, the only way to fight is to fight fair, and, a lot of the time, all a girl needs to here is "I'm sorry." It seriously wins 1/2 the battle. So, take that little pearl (little brother of mine, I know you're reading...)

I share this story specifically because I know how to do a lot of things, and the things I can't do, I can fake it til I make it. Except for dating. I don't do it. It's like, pointless and annoying and I can't stay still long enough to bother with it all. So I've just played the game my own way for the past 4 years or so. I'm Boss Bitch at being single, complete 5th grader at dating. I remember before I moved, good ole Grace told me that as soon as I met a guy that was worth it I'd give in a little. And, as my friend Kells would say "You're little ice box is more of a slushie now." I think about one of the final scenes in The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, and how his heart great 3x bigger after hearing the people of Who-ville sing. Not comparing myself to the Grinch, obviously I'm not out dicking people over, left and right.... I guess I wanna find the happy medium between Boss Bitch and Stupid Girls, and I suppose now is a good time to figure it out.

just to clarify...

I've been posting pictures as regularly as possible to facebook (even though I am starting to really not like it, too many bells and whistles...). As many of you know, I'm really bad at tagging pictures or writing captions because it's time consuming and I never know what to say in the captions. I realize the confusion that causes when stalking pictures because obviously people are on the look out for pictures of my new friends, and specifically this new boy, am I right.

a couple things that I died over:

8:20pm---

"Your lack of captions is making it hard for me to tell if the new guy is in your facebook album"

-- Bex, via text

And from Facebook--

BKE, EC, and Bex have inspired me to clean up my act on facebook, most definitely. And, just for the record:

-- The Banker doesn't "understand" facebook or myspace (I don't get myspace either....) So he doesn't have one, doesn't want one, literally is clueless about it. Furthermore, he thinks he isn't photogenic, so he doesn't like candid shots... or posing for them. AND, lets be honest, he knows what girls like us (me?) do with pictures... send them to other people, obv.

He is well versed on just about every friend I've ever had and is very set on making a good first impression, so if you ever call me and I'm with him, he most likely will want to talk to you, or pass some message through to you. Meeting my friends is something he takes pretty seriously (he doesn't get how a pictures doesn't equate to meeting, haha) So much that he was planning a trip the weekend SM visits and is currently trying to reschedule. he knows my friends = family to me, and to win with me, you gotta win with them! The feeling is mutual though, I am scared to meet his mom, didn't meet a couple of his friends one night b/c I had beast of a zit... silly girl stuff, but real stuff none the less.... Ok, that was a super long sidebar. my b.

There is one picture of him on facebook. (Please see exhibit A) His camera shyness is clearly in a conflict of interest for me, because I'd pose for a picture at the drop of a hat. So, please, imagine this BSS scenario:

Monday Night: The Banker and I have just gotten back from this cuban place where we were having drinks. E isn't home yet and so we beat her there. (E and the Banker are pretty much BFF, just fyi) Oops-- backstory: my mother is totally dying over the lack of info she has on the banker. I mean, i divulged all his "looks good on paper" info, but I had no picture and she had no like visual. So earlier that night she's all like "snap a picture! " and I'm like... "um... ok." (read: "um... no.")

ok, back to real time: So E gets home and is on the phone as she walks in 5 min later shes like "so.... our mom wants you to take this picture so I can send it to her." Die. Seriously, I DIE at that moment. Like, WHO DOES THAT?! ahhahaha it was just like, wow. So he debates for a while, (blazer, no blazer. smile, no smile) After about 15 minutes of E explaining a Southern Mother, he caves. And we pose for the grainiest, low budget, shit picture on earth. My mom loves it, however, and E had a great time torturing the kid. It was all in all hilarious though. SM is coming to visit me in a couple of weeks and I've already begun prepping him for the paparazzi like photo sessions that occur among old friends/drunken sorority girls. We'll see how he does. I assure you, despite the shit hole quality picture a couple of you received, the guy is a freakin Dime. Like.... pretty much regularly when I'm with him I'll be chatting and then I'm like "oh word?? I seriously am hanging with this Dime?"

So. Thats the story behind the lack of pictures (the the confusing pictures of me and other boys) I pretty much promise that the minute I get him in a legit, taken-with-a-real-camera picture, I'll share. Best guy friend Karl met him a couple of weekends ago... and according to SM and Grace, he knows his first sighting was very important to those back home... so, in the mean time, just ask him hahaha.

Exhibit A-- My girl KB was just snappin pictures at The Heights one night. There is a montage of ones similar to this one, all hilarious, but you can see how well the harmless candid shots picture turned out...

(he isn't that short, he's just sitting on a bar stool and I'm sort of standing up on my stool)

A little housekeeping

I've had all this free time on my hands this week since we're in the city and E lost her license. School hasn't started yet, and I've been posting a ton lately. I'm not sure if I'll keep up as much when school starts, but I'd imagine I will at least try, since I enjoy posting, it's fun, and I know people with jobs, and who are also in grad school who are great at regular postings.

With that being said, I was thinking of turning OFF the email alerts that some of you are receiving. I know how much it sucks to be in the middle of texting or bbming and your blackberry/iphone buzzes and--- Oh Hey, surprise! It's nothing but another effing blog post.

I haven't had anyone complain thus far, in fact it seems to be a little convenient for those of you who don't use google reader or follow Statelylady on twitter, but who knows.... Anyways, Leave me a comment and let me know if you still want them, (or, if you're not getting them, I guess let me know if you do want them??). I know housekeeping is lame, but I want to KEEP my friends, not become some a-hole spammer.

thats all! OK, bye.

NYC advice.

SM: Ok I'm watching law and order
SM: And you need to get pepper spray asap
SM: And don't get into a cab that offers you a half fair
Me: Hahahahaha awww

-Via BBM

TFLN. Part 1

I think TFLN is probably one of the best websites right now. It kicks FML's sorry ass b/c FML is sometimes a little retarded and like... obv these people are liars. Whatever. I added TFLN to my google reader, which is also on my blackberry, so when I'm bored I"ll scroll them. Over the past little while now I'll send in text I get from RSJ or parts of BBM convos with SM. I never really thought to check to see if they were there though, because I never visit the actual website. I happened to go to it from my Blackberry and saw where you could search area codes... so I check mine and SM's. I didn't see our exact texts, it was more like out text wearing a disguise.

(919): What are we going to do tonight?

(704): What we try to do every night. Take over the world

I can't remember this one, explicitly..... However, this (919), (704) duo post a lot... curious how they even share our area codes. In fact, I'm pretty sure this is SM and myself.

(704): I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is

Interesting. This did happen.... only I, (919), was drunk. And I text it to SM, (704). And yes. Even sober I still think Space is very scary.

(704): Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake

This did happen. We were out at this bar in Raleigh and SM wore these cute little menswear inspired magenta pumps. Only they were made for sitting, not standing and dancing in a bar. She has never worn them again, which is unfortunate.

Stay tuned for part 2 as the story develops.