Homesickness?

So I know I haven't updated in a minute, and that sucks. It's mainly because,

a) I don't have anything new to say. ya'll know I am broke, you know I need to shop, you know I need to decorate, you know I like a boy.

b) my schedule is so whack right now. Like, I'm still not sure what it is that I'm doing in New York. The School if Social Work is effing amazing, they are starting us off very slowly because in a week my whole life is will be played when I am running around the Bronx 3 times a week with my clients and trying to balance a social life (which CUSSW promotes) and my school work. I guess I should relish in this slow start and all the down time....

The other side of it is this weird thing that is happening to me from time to time. When I left home I literally thought I was going to die at the airport. SM and RSJ took E and I and me (a complete non-crier) absolutely could not lock it up. However, by the time we got to our gate I was more or less cleaned up. When I got to New York the first week I was shocked that I wasn't melting down left and right. Everything was SO confusing, couldn't figure out how to get anywhere, or where to even go. It was hot, I was over walking, etc, etc. That passed too.

The thing is there are times I find myself the most homesick. It has happened 3 times here so far and it happens directly after something uncomfortable and unhappy happens here. Example: E and I got into our first fight about 10 days in (surprised we made it that long??) By the time the evening came around and I got on the phone with my dad all I could do was revert back to the 11 year old girl of yester-year-- unable to process anything, so I went crying to Daddy "I just want to come home." Luckily Frank is a no nonsense type and the "Seshie, I can't understand you if you choose to cry instead of speak" will always snap me out of it. I suspect it's that phrase that is the underlying motivator for my insistence on maintaining emotional control.... but I digress.

Truth is, North Carolina has grown to represent a lot more than my hometown, college town and where all my friends are. It's more of a creature comfort. So much that during my first "fight" with the banker I BBM SM (who was in Charlotte) and instead of initially explaining what was wrong or asking advice I just type to her "SM, I want to come home" and that like SOS, 911, ASAP code for "old girl isn't doing to good"

So, while it may seem that I am in heaven-on-earth for a 23 year old (which, I am) There are still times it sucks. The real test for me will be knowing that I can't run home and hid out on my parents couch like I could in college. It's going to be looking whatever the discomfort is, as there will be MANY more (esp. when it gets cold here), right in the face, putting on big girl pants and kicking ass.